Recalculating. Trying to figure out my next move.

My life very much correlates with the seasons. The dark introspection of winter is giving way to the renewal of spring. I can't wait to stay outside til dark.

Can we harness the energy of our sneezes? I bet we could power the world. Why hasn't someone looked in on this?

Everybody should have a friend like this.

18 things I've learned by 23:
1. Realize what you need as an individual. Just ask for it. Don’t be afraid to let someone go if they can’t provide it for you.
2. Always pay attention to what a man does, NOT what he says.
3. Don’t be so hard on yourself because you are probably judging yourself more harshly than others are.
4. Embrace your flaws. We’re all in the same boat.
5. Don’t be afraid to change your mind about something upon learning new information. And never say never.
6. LET IT GO. Even if it is hard and takes some time. There’s always something else down the road.
7. Trust very few. Mostly just your family.
8. Be your own best friend. You’re the only one who will have to live with yourself all the time.
9. Not everyone is going to like you even if you are pretty great. Forget about them.
10. Telling the truth (in a productive manner) is hard, but its also the most efficient and easiest way to live.
11. You can never have too many people who think highly of you.
12. Don’t get mad, laugh it off. It will change your life.
13. Guilt trips are the worst. Protect yourself from them by not feeling bad about saying how you really feel. Also, don’t use them to manipulate other people.
14. Stop feeling so sorry for yourself. Pick yourself up and start doing something, for God’s sake.
15. Be yourself because then you will find the people who love you for who you are, and that is what really matters in life.
16. You'll find yourself grateful for the hard times, because those are the times you felt most alive and learned.
17. People want you to lie to them. People need you to tell them the truth.
18. You can give all the advice in the world, but people need to learn on their own.

I loves me some Norm!

Here are a few reasons why:
1
2
3

"Is the home you build and live in for the sake of you, the person inside, or for the sake of everyone on the outside?" Thoreau
I guess the same could be said about life in general. Do you refrain from doing something you love and that brings you joy because you're worried about what everyone else would have to say about it? Do you talk a certain way or ignore how you really feel for the sake of avoiding potential alienation from others? As a society, we have it all backwards. Why do we raise our children to judge or fear being judged simply for being themselves? Why must we seek happiness and fulfillment in the fruitless attempts of owning more, more, more? People work long hours to make money that is then spent on material objects that end up owning them. Time is taken away from family and leisure because we all have this idea that our worth is tied up into the amount of materials, when in fact, we all end up with too many useless items and not enough of the really good intangibles.

Edit: here's a bit on authenticity that I found.
"Kernis' studies show that people with a sense of authenticity are highly realistic about their performance in everything from a game of touch football to managing the family business. They're not defensive or blaming of others when they meet with less success than they wanted.

Eastern spiritual traditions have long furnished ways to glimpse the messiness of the self, and to view with detachment the vicissitudes of mind and emotion that roil human consciousness. Buddhism takes the self in all its variability as the principal subject of contemplation; the yogic tradition accords self-study great importance.

The Hindu Bhagavad Gita suggests we also have a duty to act: to realize our full potential in the world, to construct or discover a unique individuality, and thereby to live authentically. You have to "discern your own highly idiosyncratic gifts, and your own highly idiosyncratic calling," Cope elaborates. "Real fulfillment comes from authentically grappling with the possibility inside you, in a disciplined, concentrated, focused way."

That lesson isn't confined to Eastern spirituality. In The Way of Man, philosopher Martin Buber relates a Hasidic parable about one Rabbi Zusya, a self-effacing scholar who has a deathbed revelation that he shares with the friends keeping vigil at his side. "In the next life, I shall not be asked: 'Why were you not more like Moses?'" he says. "I shall be asked: 'Why were you not more like Zusya?'"

Terry Fox story

I have nothing to complain about in my life, so if you catch me complaining, tell me to shut the hell up.

Also, ESPN has been showing these great sports documentaries during the "30 for 30" Campaign. I highly recommend a look-see.

I've learned as of late to not be too hard on myself and to not feel sorry for people who have themselves to blame for their problems. I've learned to not feel bad anymore about being honest and saying what I am thinking out loud. And because of that, some people don't understand why I don't have more sympathy or why I don't hold my tongue. The only answer I have to that is that sometimes, it's just not worth it to worry about other people. It's a bit of a risk to speak honestly in a world where many, many, many people lie to you. You never know how people are going to react to you speaking your mind, especially if you are a women. You could come across as intimidating, rude, or just a bitch even if you have no intention of hurting someone's feelings. The funny thing is that I have found that because I don't worry about stupid stuff, I have much more empathy for people who really need it.

It's just way too tiring for me to censor myself anymore. I need to live my life for me and go after what I want.

EDIT: I'm also tired of thinking about doing things instead of doing them, so if anyone wants to go crazy and feel alive, give me a call.

I've smoked three cigarettes in my life and I don't do drugs. Drinking happens every once in awhile. I exercise relatively minimally and I don't watch hours and hours of television everyday. I fear, however, that I am addicted to the Internet. Of course, my increasing amount of time spent on this delightful time waster could be due to the fact that it gets dark around 5:30 and it is bitter cold out, or that I get bored easily and the limitless options of the Internet fuel my need to do something new every 15 minutes, but I think it is mostly something else. Myself, and the rest of the connected society have gotten so used to having the Internet, that it has become a terrible habit for a lot of us. Have some free time? Let's go look up epic rock and roll deaths. It'll only take five minutes...
And don't get me started on the monstrosity that is Facebook. I try my very best to not get sucked in. I do. But sometimes, I take a glance as to what other people are up to and I can't stop. I want to stop, believe me, but for some reason, it is difficult. Maybe the big cheeses' at Facebook Corporate use a method of mind control on the people who log in?? The thing is that 99.9% of what is posted on Facebook is useless, boring information. So why can't we help but see what BobbyJo is up to this afternoon? I wish I had an answer and some stronger willpower to delete my page and know that everything will be alright.
I feel we are a society of watchers as opposed to doers. We watch someone else do something on YouTube instead of going out and doing it ourselves. We watch movies were people seem to have exciting lives instead of going out and making our own excitement. Are there IA meetings anywhere near here?